RELATIONS

☺heyyyy guyz☺

i've been having kinda tough time these days. with everything.. fuckin last-time tests in school, really busy schedule, presents, friends, problems and all that dont-know-what-to-feel feeling.

to be a little more specific my relationships with others are not that good as i'd like them to be. i started realizing it when me and my last boyfriend broke up. it was like.. i've never realized how much my social life depends on him you know. like when we were together i kinda didnt care about what others think about me. i did weird things, maybe acted a little bitchy... It didnt even come to my mind that somebody could hate me for that. i had loads of good friends who liked and accepted me the way i were then. And i was happy.

It'll be ten months since that now.

and somehow, it all just went horribly wrong. suddenly i was alone, even when i was in a crowded room. i still have friends but my self-confidence goes lower and lower every day. i realized how much people hate me for what i used to be. maybe they hate me even for what im now, i dont know. the thing is, that i dont know how to escape. i tried everything, really, i tried to be invisible, not to say things that could piss off others, even not to join at all. it doesnt work.

whatever you do, they'll judge you anyway.

and now there is one big problem in our girl crew which is kinda connected with me again. (how else right?) but i wont mention it, dont worry.

so this is my position to this topic. thats pretty much it i've written little bit more than i thought but... nevermind:) at least u know something new about me again:D

sorry if its too long