INTOXICATION OF HAPPINESS / A JISTÉ ZMĚNY

Ano, jsem to pořád já, jen z jiný sféry mé Říše divů. Tak. Takhle nějak píšu česky. Hehe.

Ahoj magoři,

Koukám na publikum svého blogu a ztjišťuju, že tenhle můj rádoby umělec - počkat.
ne. nevim, jaký slovo použít k popsání tohohle počinu. Každopádně, stejně ho čtou vlastně z devadesáti procent samí Češi.

A tak se omlouvám těm pár desítkám Němců, Britů, Poláků, Italů, Rumunů, Číňanů, Irů, Ukrajinců a hlavně Američanů (páni, to je ale hodně ů), kteří při svém brouzdání po InternetĚ zabloudili i na můj blog. Promiňte. Možná se k mé milované angličtině vrátím. A možná ne.
Ale dneska píšu česky. A je to úžasnej pocit, vážně. Vlastně zjišťuju, že mi to hrozně chybělo. Hehe.

Angličtina je prostě příliš omezujcí/omezená. Má až moc jasně danej řád, slovosled, všechno je tam takové omšelé, bránící jakýkoliv kreativitě. A to magoři jako já dlouho nesnesou. A přitom je to tak primitivní jazyk. To je myslím paradox, přímo tady.

Chápete, co myslím? Asi ne.

Myslím, že se ze mě stává delikvent. Ne, vlastně nemyslím. Myslím, že se ze mě stává někdo, v kom všichni delikventa vidí.

Trochu mě to děsí.

Tak jako mě trochu děsí pojem "láska" a "milovat".

Utápím poslední zastřený střepy svojí minulosti v nekonečnym šálku dobrýho čaje. Musí být dobrý, protože kdyby byl špatný, nedalo by se v něm nic utopit. Přemýšlim, třídim si myšlenky a snažim se přijít na to, jestli budu moct někdy přijít na to, jestli jsem psychicky/fyzicky schopna milovat. Problém s přemýšlením ale je, že čím víc přemýšlím, tím míň všechno chápu.
Vlastně už radši nepřemýšlím. Protože to taky nechápu.

What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!'
`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because I'm not myself, you see.'  

- Lewis Carroll, Alice In Wonderland

. . . 

máta a jahody a zelenej čaj

FIG. 1
"Nedělej to," varuje mě, "zničíš se a dobře to víš. Nejsi připravená."
"Co to povídáš. Nemůže se tomu ubránit."
"Jistě že může, jen ji propusť. Stejně je to tvoje vina."
"Jako bys v tom ty byl nevinně. Sám dobře víš, že takové věci se prostě stanou."
"Haló. Já jsem pořád tady" ozvu se dotčeně.
"Jistě, promiň, nechali jsme se unést."
"Hm."
Cítí provinile a spustí: "Zlatíčko, víš, že pro tebe oba chceme jen to nejlepší, abys byla šťastná. A vím, že bez něj bys šťastná nebyla. Ale musíš nám teď něco slíbit."
"Co je to?"
"Slib nám, že jestli mě přece jen jednoho dne zlomí, bude to naposledy, ano?"

Ahjo. Teď bych chtěla mít doma vodnici a hodně pohodlný křeslo. Při své nedávné premiérové návštěve čajovny (fakt se mi tam moc líbilo) jsem totiž zjistila, že s vodnicí je všechno tohle bezcílný přemýšlení o pár dobrejch čajů lehčí.

A já slíbila Srdci, že tohle je naposledy, co budu v životě milovat.

. . .

Noty načmárané na papíře poskakují sem a tam a nakonec splývaj do jedný pořádně prudký řeky. Snažím se aspoň něco pochytit, ale nedokážu se soustředit. Kdo to vůbec vymyslel, že se má hrát podle not. Nebaví mě to. Upřímně, vytáčí mě to.
Chci hrát, co mě napadne, něco vlastního, něco novýho. Jakej smysl má luštit nějaký připitomnělý béčka, tóniny a další termíny. Hudba má přece být o volnosti, ne? Má přece poskytovat útočiště osamělým důšičkám ztraceným ve svém bohatém vnitřním světě. A takové dušičky se nezajímají o tak povrchně realistické věci jako jsou stupnice a jejich předznamenání. Nebo jo?

Já vlastně ani nevím. Nejsem osamělá duše a nežiju ve svym vnitřnim světě. Žiju tady, v tomhle směšnym světě a v tomhle na hlavu postavenym systému. Jsem však zcela určitě z(a)tracená. 

Hehe. 

Vítejte, milí čtenáři, mimo kontext.

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.18

Oh my, how I'm gonna miss Italy. *deep sigh*

10th September

Hullo everyone,

This was the last day here in this charming country. I never truly felt and realized there's this much beautiful little things around me. The typical italian bustle, for example. The smell of coastal air in the night. The morning clouds clinging to the ground underneath the mountains. Traffic laws don't exist...

. . .

We swam in the sea for the last time and ate the last late lunch on the beach. The weather was getting bad and people were gradually leaving. I was thrilled by the colours of the sky on the horizon. The marine blue colour of the sea contrasted with menacing dark grey almost invisibly lit up by soft pale pink.
The view was of course blurred. It was clearly already raining in that distance. Soon we were the only ones left and had the beach and the sea just for ourselves.
We didn't manage to enjoy the deserted seaside properly though, because soon it started raining there too.

If I had my way we'd stay there and dance in the rising rainstorm until we're compleatly soaked.

. . .

In the evening we went to visit featured family friends and relatives. They were very very nice to me and my brother and gave us few lovely gifts.

Then we went to the centro commerciale again and bought gifts for our siblings. I also bought this lovely Beatles t-shirt! Isn't it totally awesome?!

I helped my brother with choosing his new clothes. I picked nice checked blue&orange shirt and white t-shirt. I tried to dress him at least a little like Kurt Cobain. I'm satisfied. He looks cool as possible now.

The last thing I git is this elegant light pink top.

I'm very happy and sad at once now. I don't wanna leave.

Anna

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.17

We're going to one of the best pizzerias in the whole Italy today! My brother's been talking about it for years. I can't wait to taste the ciocori pizza.

9th September

Hullo guys,
This is the last but one day when we can lounge on the beach. We're depart on Thursday.
We're gonna have to get up early on Thursday so we can't go to sleep late on Wednesday. And we want to end this trip properly. That's why we decided to go to Don Franchino's today.

. . .

We decided (at the very last minute) we wanna see the sunrise over the sea. We packed our beach bags very quickly and set off. Aaaaand we actually made it. At least the morning colours. Look.

. . .

and that is an old photo please, it looks even better now!

Oh my, that was even better then I imagined.
The restaurant itself was so beutiful! The interior was totally brethtaking. I'm too lazy to describe it and yes, I wouldn't be able to explain it properly. I forgot to take a pic of this part so I googled this photo. Have a quick look for yourself.

Isn't it unique? 

I love this design in restaurants, it's so cozy. Now they have famous italian quotes written on the ceiling.

Oh, and the pizzas. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

pizza fossa

Don Franchino is famous not only because he lavishes on his pizzas and therefore has the highest quality ingredients, but also because of his unique flavors which he invents himself. You definitely won't find classic margherita or hawaii here. 

For example, pizza Fossa is a pizza bianca (white pizza) with peals, fossa cheese and honey. 

They also make rad pizzas. I, for instance, loved the pizza with fresh green figs and hazelnuts and of course, tamatoes, basil and mozzarella (don't remember the name).

. . .

. . .

You can't imagine how many different combinations and flavors this pizza genius makes. It's unbelieveable, really. Genius.

Go taste it.

I'm outta words.

Anna.

pizza ciocori, with white and milk chocolate and ricota
this one. was. the. best.

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.16

We keep downloading new amazing films. And I got burned in the sun. And we took some beautiful photos.

8th September

Hullo guys,
Another beatiful sunny day here in Italy. Another lazing by the sea. Oh, how lazy I got here!
Today we're watching Stealing Beauty, starring Liv Tyler, from genius italian director Bertolucci. I'm told Bertolucci really played with the languages - italian, french, american english, irish. My cousin is making me a list of the best movies she'd seen so far.

. . .

Today was a lovely weather so I put on my white dress, cool sunglasses and flower crown. My cousin was blown up by this "fairy" outfit and so it happend she took a lotta photos. Some of them are actually really cool. They have something to be said, I think.

See for yourself.

I don't really know what to write about today.

Anna

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.15

The trip is slowly coming to an end and I'm starting to realize I'm sorta afraid (should I say scared?) of coming back home.  

7th September

Hullo everyone,
I've been thinking. Coming back to the usual daily life that awaits in Czech Republic means not only that I'm gonna have to live in that same old stereotype, but also that I'm gonna have to take certain responsibilities again.
And I don't want to. I fell in love with this freeminded life style. I don't wanna take any responsibilities.
That might be connected to the fact I don't ever wanna grow up. Because all this growing up thing is so not fair.

And by the way, that's literally what my cousin told me few days ago (she's an adult).

"Adulthood sucks."

©weheartit

. . .

Okay but I'm supposed to talk about my Italy trip here,
The weather finally made it up today so we spent practically the whole day on the beach. There were few people today but we certainly expected more because it was Sunday.
Well, the water was great. Everything was great. I lied on the sand and read a book. Or I sat on the pier of rocks and listened to the waves breaking on the rocks, droplets of salt water wetting my skin.

I kinda got inspired by the movie August Rush. It's about a boy who's a music genius and hears music everywhere. In the whispering of the trees, in the bustle of the city, in the burbling of the streams... it's charming.
And it has a very beatiful soundtrack.

. . .

Talking about films, we watched Good Will Hunting in the evening. We made something like a habit out of it, hehe. My cousin wanted us to see her favourite Robin Williams movies. Especially me.
I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen many films starring this great man (may he rest in peace).

I'm already starting to adore him.

See you soon,

Anna

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.14

I don't know how I'm gonna survive the year without italian ice cream. And pizza. And the seascape.

6th September

Hullo guys,
Why, today was a lovely day. We saw the markets here in Teramo and I bought cute gifts for my friends. My cousin even bought me a beatiful black evening dress just for € 8. I've got € 17 from the budget she gave me left!
It was cloudy here but the sun shone brightly in Giulianova. We couldn't swim, the cold wind was blowing too strongly. We went for a nice walk by the sea and we saw a lotta beatiful things. For example the Salinello river outfall.

But first we had an ice cream. My cousin took us to her favourite gelateria in town - Marechiaro. And it was

one of the best ice creams
I've ever
had.
If you'd ever drive through Giulianova, be sure to stop there and have an ice cream in Marechiaro (or in Dolce Vita).

I won't be able to survive without italian ice cream.

We passed through an old camp where my aunt and my cousins used to stay for summer. They had nice full grown fig trees with juicy green figs. You probably know about our (my and my cousin's) fig obession by now. Well, and so it happend we got ourselves a healty snack.
Oh and I succesfully stole one sweet-smelling fresh lemon from someone's garden.

We also saw this beautiful piece of art on the way. The texts says

There is no safer way to escape the world than art. Yet there is no more confident bond with the world than art.

- J.W. Goethe

Amazing.

i think it was a full moon today

We stopped for pizza on the way back. My cousin wanted to show us her brother's fave pizzeria Mato Mato. They make their own specific pizza dough so their pizza tastes differently than in basic pizzerias. Oh my, I miss italian pizzas already.

I keep thinking about all that work I'll have to catch up. Especially the biology. This whole year is gonna be about stones and minerals.
Boooooooooooooo

Kill me.

Your 

         Anna

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.13

The sun is back. I'm sort of looking forward to going back to school and seeing all my friends but I sort of wanna stay here and never come back. Is that selfish?

5th September

Hullo guys,
My cousin arrived today. And as if the sun would wanna please her it swung onto the sky and finally scattered the clouds.
It was nice and weird at the same time to wake up in the light of the sun.

I learned how to make italian lasagne. It's surprisingly easy. I could write you some of the recipes I learned if you're interested. Let me know in the comments.

. . . 

We took advantage of the so-so weather and went to the beach as soon as my cousin arrived. It was totally deserted! It seems like Italians don't go to the beach unless it's 40°C. Fools.
It was beatiful. Not that usual beatiful bur real beautiful.
The wind was blowing strongly and the salt in the air was very distinct. Grey was mingled with pale pink, light blue was desperately trying to break through the horizon. Rainy mist covered the distant view. Thousands of shells lounged on the beach. Nobody has yet come to pick them up.
And those gulls! They were everywhere.

It was certainly one of the most stunning landscapes I've had the pleasure to see. And it was definitely the most beautiful seascape I've seen. Though I'd love to see the sea (haha, a pun, how funny) in the early morning.

. . .

In the evening we watched Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams. Yes, that's why I didn't post this yesterday.

That film is
I can't even put in into words.
It's really
..
lifechanging.

Yes, that's the word. Does it even exist? If not, it's been discovered right now, in this moment, just for this film, 'cause it can't be discribed with any other word.
It's an 80s film about a literature teacher (Robin Williams) and his students. It's about life, love, self-expression, and of course poetry. It's not one of those wannabe encouraging films, this one is taking it far differently. It's playing with every character and everyone can identify with a certain character from the film. I guess that's one of the main reasons why it is so lifechanging.
You realize things.
Maybe you even decide to do something differently by now.
And this is the decision that may truly change your life.

I'm sorry. My word capacity is not capacious enough to express how excellent this film is.

Carpe diem.

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.12

Today was the first time we were allowed to go out by ourselves. Hehe. I've got another few clothes AND I made two pizzas. 

4th September

Hullo guys,
Today was a fun day. We saw a lot more from historical Teramo. My aunt thought up some kind of a game for me and my brother. We were supposed to go to the center of our city to find and then take photos of certain sights or other points of interest.
At last and with a little bit of effort we found all ten places on the map.

Santuario della Madonna delle Grazie

Palazzo Castelli
(we didn't have this building on the list
but it's quite important too)

Just in case you would ever visit Teramo in Abruzzo, here are the sights we had on our list (you can skip this part if not interested):

• Chiesa (=church) di S. Caterina
• Chiesa di St. Anna on piazza di S. Anna
• Siti archeologici (=archeological sites) on Piazza di S. Anna
• ACI building (the entrance consists of something like arcades and it's really old)
• Chiesa di S. Luca
• Chiesa di Sant'Antonio
• the statue of G. Garibaldi on piazza Madonna delle Grazie
• Porta Reale, near piazza Madonna delle Grazie
• Siti archeologici in Parco Ivan Graziani
• Santuario della Madonna delle Grazie

I also saw few lovely stores on the way. Shame I have no money to spend left.

. . .

My aunt is giving away quite a lot of her old clothes. It wouldn't be me if I didn't take anything. Hehe.

I've got a very comfy black sweather, a plain black shirt, a black lacy bodysuit with high collar, floral vintage-looking pyjamas and a cute white croptop/bra with lace at the bottom.

I'm lucky my aunt lives in Italy so she has and always had a great taste in clothes. And besides, the seventies mode is returning!

Yet I'm afraid I'm not gonna be able to squeeze it all in the trunk.

. . .

My awesome cousin (i have two cousins to make myself clear - a boy cousin and a girl cousin. okay.) is finally arriving tommorow! She wants to show us a lot of cool places and gelaterie. I didn't have the genuine italian ice cream for... three days, I think? So I'm kinda looking forward to that.
Mmmmm...
And I'm looking forward to see her again, of course! Hehe.

. . . 

FIG.1

I couldn't sleep. I kept rolling over in my bed, trying to empty my mind and not think of anything. And when I thought I finally succeeded, He was back. Crawling into my mind over and over again. I can't shut the door.

He already has the key.

 . . . 

My aunt taught me how to make a pizza dough. She told us we're gonna do a small contest. Me versus my brother - whose pizza will be better.
I think it was very clear to my brother that he's gonna lose, because he didn't even attend.

I made two I have to say quite succesful pizzas
- a basic red pizza with crushed tamatoes, mozzarella, prosciutto, onion cloves ans fresh basil and rosemary
- a cheese pizza with all kinds of cheese I found in the refrigerator, fresh rosemary and prosciutto

We made two other classic italian specialities so I'm starting to feel like a proper Italian, hehe.
I have to write all the recipes down before I leave.

Sleepily,
     Anna

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.11

I thought I satisfyingly enjoyed the sea. But now I miss the smell of salt air. I miss the feeling of waves breaking on my body. I miss the sun. And I miss my friends. But I miss Him the most.

3rd September

Hullo guys,
It's still raining. If I was at home I'd probably pack a thermos of tea and a warm swather, put on my headphones and I'd go out for a walk. I'd walk 'till I'd come to the tree. I'd climb it and sat on the bench in it's crown. The raindrops falling on my cheeks, washing away all my worries... I could stay like this for hours.

However I'm not at home. I can't just pick up and go for a walk.

So I'm sitting here in my cousin's bed, my brother plays the old pokemon fire red game. I'm here
because of the Wi-Fi. And also because of the potential visit. My aunt wants us to be quiet so they would think nobody's home and go away. She also turned off all telephones.
Hehe.

The stabbing pain in the chest area is back. I practically couldn't take a deep breath for the last three hours. It's like someone's incessantly stabbing me with a knife. It hurts like hell when it starts.
And as if this is not enough I have a headache since the morning.

What is this day?

. . .

It's evening now. We dug up an ice cream maker and made a delicious watermelon ice cream. Yum.
I'm so excited to make more ice cream and invent new flavors and oooh - We have an ice cream maker!

Hope you guys are getting on with the school.

Sarcastically,

             Anna

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.10

Teramo's historic center is more charming than I thought. And the shops there are just as expensive as I thought.

2nd September

Hullo everyone,
I spent the whole day basically doing nothing. It wasn't until the evening that we went for a walk around Teramo. I had to get some stamps for my letters and send them. My brother had to get Vogue and Elle for his friend in Prague.
We've seen quite a lot of sights. I had no idea there's a whole catedral in Teramo! And not just any - it's Teramo Cathedral, dedicated to the Assumption of the Virgin Mary and to Saint Berardo (who's the city patron).

Well, I suppose this probably says nothing to you so I'll cut to the chase.
You can find the famous Paliotto del Duomo here. It's a majestic silver antependium (decorative curtain in front of the altar) with scenes from Jesus's life pictured on it and it's beautiful.

paliotto del duomo

. . .

If you go few steps further from the cathedral you'll come to the remains of an ancient amphitheater. You stand there looking at the ruins that used to be the venue for thousands of famous theater performances and concerts. You stand there looking at the walls which have witnessed hundreds of thousands of human lives. You stand there and you feel it all, you feel the history of this place. And suddenly you're part of it too.
Just like that. It's impressive.

. . .

We also saw this huge mosaik adorning the city bank (I think?) when we were walking down the corso cerulli. The corso is something like an avenue lined with all kinds of shops, stores and boutiques and usually full of people.

the corso cerulli

. . .

I sent my two letters to my five friends in Prague. I hope they arrive alright and in a good shape.
If not,

I LOVE YOU GUYS! C:

                                Anna

18 DAYS IN ITALY no.9

Italian shops are just... different. When you keep your eyes open you're gonna find anything you want. The range is so much wider than in Prague, even in such a small town as Teramo!

1st September

Hullo guys,
as you can see we went to centro commerciale today. That's basically all we can do now. The weather totally turned. It's raining constantly since early morning, the sky is dark gray and from time to time it even thunders. And it's supposed to be like this the whole week.
My aunt says this weather's a crap. I ,on the other hand, don't mind it. I love rain. And storms.
It would be so cool to go out in this downpour. To go dance on the beach which would finally be deserted now.

. . .

Oh, I almost forgot! How was the first day at school HEHEHHHEHHE? I'm sorry, I just -HEHEHEHHHEHHEE.

Sorry.

In case your school didn't start today just read this post the day it starts okay? Okay. Thank you very much.

. . .

Anyway, I spent practically all my money today. I kept about eleven euros so I could buy some gifts for my friends but that's it. I don't have any money left.
*sadface*
But I'm totally happy with my purchases.

I bought a pair of white oxfords for € 26. It quite a lot but... they're sooo gorgeous, look! ♡♡♡
The next thing were these red checked leggins, which are, as would my friends say, perfectly hipster. I don't care, I just like them. And they cost me only € 5.
The last thing is a plain white high-waisted dress with lace straps, just for € 7,90. Perhaps I'll make some cool indie fringes at the lower end, just to make it look even more free. But I don't know yet.

. . .

When we got home I turned on the TV (again after a long time) to watch The butterfly effect. That film was. so. brilliant.
If you're such a freak as I am and you haven't seen it yet please GO AHEAD.
You can watch it online if you're too lazy to download it.

C'mon.
What are you waiting for?

Whoosh.

18 DAYS IN ITALY no. 8

I hate being a girl. Yet I wouldn't wanna be a boy. What a weird way to live.

31st August

Hullo guys,
I think I'm gonna shorten these posts cause I'm not managing to write these daily. You can see I'm writing this in the morning.
We borrowed a pedalo today. That was fun hehe. Though I was annoyed I couldn't fool around in the water with the boys.
This is why I hate being a girl.
Always at the worst possible time, huh?
Anyway, we had a great time. And I found out you can get quite a nice dresses on the Pineto beach.

sorry for the quality

something like this

I'd like a cute "hippie" dress. You know, these lace ones, with fringe at the end. Something like this. I hope I'll find it somewhere here in Italy, 'cause honestly, I don't know where else.
I love the idea of walking in it through the nature, jumping from stone to stone in a bubbling brook, dancing under the broad trees with flowers in my hair...
That's my way of entering my own Wonderland.

. . .

Few family friends came to visit us in the evening and we all had a dinner together. Wel, dinner... more like a feast. A five-course feast.
That's more than enough for me for I'm from Czech republic and fancy dinners are not exactly our cup of tea.

Even though I basically didn't understand anything I really liked everyone. Especially this let's say very loud lady. She may be small but you hear her enough and to spare. She was constantly talking, barracking something, joking and smiling.

As the depressed people usually do.

I have to say my aunt really lay herself out on the dishes. And it paid off. I wish you all could be there to taste the typical italian lasagne or the cakes. Mmmm... She is a great cook, indeed.

. . .

When everyone left and the rest went to bed I betook myself on the balcony. I was pleased to find out the stars are visible and shining brightly today. The sky was dotted with them, as if somebody spilled a whole bucket of those little glowing lights.
I just sat there, breathing in the fresh night air, looking at the stars. It flashed afar.

And it was beautiful. So incredibly beautiful.

Love,

         Anna