It's been a long time, but I'm here again. Today I'm gonna talk about something more... serious I guess? Lately I've been thinking... And the more I thought, the more I felt like crying. I decided to share this little thought here with you because honestly, I don't know who else should I talk with.
CAUTION! BORING PART! CAUTION! BORING PART! CAUTION! BORING PART! CAUTION! BORING PART!
I feel like if I met myself in the street, I'd hate me. I'm gone, empty. I can't control it. And I don't even try anymore.
But what I wanted to talk about today is this decision I have to make. In short I have to choose if I wanna leave my school and go to this private English high school, or if I wanna stay here with my few friends (and uncountable number of non-friends, including my ex-boyfriend).
To be serious, it's really not very pleasant to see him every day, being so obviously happy and better off without me. It's not like I still love him. But this is so weird. Especially when my "friends" talk to him.
And I hate everyone in our school so much and I hate my class. On the other hand, I'd probably hate everyone in every other school, because they're all the same. And I hate people in general. But then there are my friends, my real friends. I really don't wanna lose them, they're kinda everything I have.

And it also crossed my mind... how would this ex (hate this word, it|s so improper) react to it? How would he react to my disappearance? Is it strange to think about it? I wonder if he'd be happy...
Because if I were in his place, I would.